If you wish to learn about how the Earth spins, or the daily
agenda of how the goverment runs, you'll most likely look
to reference books for information at a library or online.
If something else strikes up your fancy and you desire to
know more about it; chances are that something has probably
already been researched and had an article written on the
subject. UFO sightings, ghost encounters, quantuam physics
- you name it - there's a good chance that bits of information
are readily available to you.
SIlly me for trying to pinpoint the science of the NES;
we all know that the NES doesn't conform to the world around
us. No, the console has an entire universe all to itself whenever
the red POWER light is on. Rules, scientific fact, and structures
here on Earth certainly do not imply to some of the bizarre
laws and codes in NES games.
Therefore these, for your own reference, are the things I
learned from NES games.
I asked around for other people to contribute to this list;
about the things NES games have taught them personally. Here's
what they came up with.
FlowingMindSpin:
...I've learned that the best ninja swordsmen have no arms.
(Legend of Kage)
...That someone, somewhere, gets off on 8-bit porn.
...The citizens of Hyrule don't speak Hylian, they speak
broken English.
lynx561:
...I've learned to never rely on prison systems when you
want to keep an evil mastermind captive.
Donutman:
...That you can breath underwater for an endless amount
of time.
...If someone hits you, don't worry, it will only make you
smaller.
Qix:
...That whistles will take you off to far away lands.
...That if you feed animals candy, they'll let you ride
them. (Little Nemo)
MinkisP:
...Super Spike V-Ball taught me all the rules of volley-ball,
and every year I have gotten a 100% on my gym volley ball
tests and I never studied for one of them (of course).
Angela:
...That the princess is in another castle most of the time.
...That music boxes make camels sleep.
...That turtles live in sewers.
calgone:
...If nes has taught me anything it's that you can never
jump off stairs.
AndrewB:
...Bomb a wall if you see a crack in it.
Ruudos:
...If you want a tornado, kneel at a rock with a crystal
in your hand.
...If you don't want to hear anything, put bananas in your
ears.
...If you want to get rich, defeat a bunch of monsters.
Many of them have coins inside them.
Furankufuruto Sooseeji:
...No matter how long that roast has been sitting in a
wall, it will still heal eight clicks of health.
Jackalneo:
...I am Error.
...That giant spiders can speak from the grave. (Monster
Party)
Weird-Edsel:
...I am bad enough to save the president.
...I can feel asleep.
...Trucks have started to move.
...Yo-yos arent just toys. They are the most powerful weapons
on earth.
...A winner is me.
...I am now playing with power!
The Watcher:
...Eagles are a ninja's greatest foe.
...Snowballs can fling a turtle back 30 feet.
...Leaves are effective shields.
...Letters become readable only in water.
...But most importantly...
...A three-legged mechanical robot sucks ass.
Skiwagon:
...that when people congradulate me, I can consider myself
a hero.
...to speak english by playing RPG's (really! I'm French-Canadian)
...that if I die or get hurt, it doesn't matter, I just
have to load.
...that you can have a successful career kidnapping a Princess
over and over
again.
...that some people feel sorry if they know nothing.
John Overton:
...Watch out for Barrels.
...Remember you have select to use.
...Glowing Balls are usually Good.
...You need to Dodge.
...Be a Bad Dude.
...Ninjas are like Dynamite they will explode when hit.
...Birds always want to kill you.
...Everything has Poison Touch Beware!
...(Some random kanji since 1/5 games we're in japanese
and we had no clue what was going on in them.)
Deven711:
...If you get hurt by someone, you'll just become invisible
and invincible for a few minutes.
...When you die, you'll fall far down in the ground and
then you'll be reborn again as the same age on a platform
that lowers to where you died. (Mario Bros.)
...Never touch mean people and people that you hate. Such
as bullies, your little brother/sister, or your mom/dad
when she's angry at you. You'll get hurt.
...Springs will help you get to the top of your house.
...If you see a snail that keeps sticking its head out at
you, stay away from it. It's mean.
...Throwing chisels made of rocks and sticks at it will
help. (Adventure Island)
...If you kick an egg, a cool item will come out.
...An easy way to fight an enemy is to jump on it. (Super
Mario Bros.)
...If you eat a leaf, you'll turn into a raccoon. (Super
Mario Bros. 3)
...If you die, you might spin around for a moment and pop.
(Legend of Zelda)
...When you kiss your wife, a heart will come out and hover
above you. (Super Mario Bros.)
...When you get a star and touch an enemy, he/she'll die
instantly. (Super Mario Bros.)
...If you catch a letter that lowers into the ground, a
part of a ladder will appear. (Popeye)
...Big, fat, bearded men will throw beer bottles at you
and when you get hit by one, you'll fly into the ocean.
(Popeye)
...Pipes will take you to far away worlds. (Super Mario
Bros. 3)
...If you touch an enemy, the world will swirl around and
a battle will begin. (Final Fantasy)
...If you fall asleep while in town at night, a scary and
infamous zombie will come and kill you. (A Nightmare on
Elm Street)
...Flowers will make you shoot fireballs. (Super Mario Bros.)
...Mushrooms can heal you and make you stronger. (Super
Mario Bros. 2)
...It takes 2 people to kill a dinosaur. (Super Mario Bros.)
...If you play softball, Frankenstein might be on your team.
(Softball Tengoku)
...If you get to the school bully's house, don't worry about
getting knocked out. You'll be healed completely as soon
as you get there. (Mega Man 2)
...Pepper makes pizza bad. (Yo! Noid)
...We will have a great adventure far, far from home.
...Police Officers are mean. (Rasaaru Ishii no Child's Quest)
...If you see an ugly person with ugly white hair and a
crystal ball, don't worry. He'll help you out. (Getssufuu
Maden)
...Fat circusmen can spit fireballs. (Karnov)
god bochy:
...I learned that apparently the prince needs herb
...I learned that ninja can kidnap a president
...A lesson I learned that I will always cherish: Never
let balls hit you in the face
...Nintendo taught me a lesson in real life and in their
games: If someone or something gets in your way brutaly
kill it but you must never talk about it (a little back
story: Nintendo crushed all opposition in the 80's and one
of their rules to publish a game was you could never use
the word "kill" but depicting the act was ok)
Juggalo/Hulkamaniac:
- That ninjas can throw fire balls. (Ninja Gaiden)
- When you knock blocks with your head you can have useful
items pop out of it. (Super Mario Bros.)
- The guys who drive zambonis wear goalie helmets. (Ice
Hockey)
- Those refs can be pretty strong when your knocked out
on the ice! (Blades Of Steel)
- It's really tough being a paper boy! (Paper Boy)
- You can jump up to 30 feet and throw unlimited ninja stars.
(Demon Sword)
- If you save the prrsident of the US, he might just give
you a hamburger instead of a position in office or money!
(Bad Dudes)
- Brave, nobel warriors may not "use" themselves!
(Shadowgate)
- Some cars can jump REALLY high! (Bump 'n' Jump)
- Educational games don't make it far. (Donkey Kong Jr.
Math)
- Whips can be used to kill Dracula. (Castlevania)
- Kicks can be more powerful against monsters than swords.
(Kickmaster)
- Mushrooms can make you grow very tall. (Super Mario Bros.)
- To have to save a damsel in distress over and over again.
(Super Mario Bros., Bump 'n' Jump, Kung Fu, Demon Sword,
etc.)
- You can get all kinds of money by defeating monsters.
(The Legend Of Zelda)
- Hearts can be used for money (Castlevania II: Simon's
Quest)
- The best adventures happen in our dreams. (Super Mario
Bros. 2, Little Nemo: Dream Master)
- Snowballs can knock a turtle back about 10 feet! (Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game)
- US boxers are the greatest in the world and the French
ones are really bad. (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!)
- Hulk Hogan is the best even on the NES games. (WWF WrestleMania)
- Everyone hates Dr. Jeckyll because they lay bombs by you
and even the animals try to kill you. (Dr. Jeckyll And Mr.
Hyde)
- Video games WERE fun at one time (1985 - 1995) 10 years
of greatness!
- Game publishers don't really know English that well. (Pro
Wrestling, Zelda II: Link's Adventure)
