Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Arnold Schwarzeneeger. What first comes to mind when you hear these names? Flying kicks, pulsating arms, big explosions, more splattered blood than a Red Cross drive? Or to put all of that into only one word: action; and if you're looking for action, look no further. Beat 'Em Up Weekend serves to fill an otherwise dull weekend with three action-packed films and their subsequent relating Nintendo Entertainment System video games to provide an ultimate orgy of sweet and blood. Something our Western culture has come to adore. You'll fight bad guys and street gangs, witness larger-than-life explosions, and feel the raging adrenaline the whole time through. And furthermore during all of that combat and skirmishes you'll also become heavily aligned with the Eastern's fighting arts to achieve an international degree in ass-kicking.

So are you a bad enough "tough guy" to take on an action-packed marathon schedule of fists, guts, and glory without any sissy time-outs? You better be, solider, because we're heading into gang territory.

Motion Picture check-list:

Other films (not mentioned in list) also worth checking out:

MOVIE: Get ready for the first action flick. It's movie time!

Although certainly not showing Lee's versatile acting talents as in his arguably best film "The Chinese Connection" nor the fantastic moves shown in "Enter the Dragon," I don't believe there's a more appropriate set of fighting techniques than is seen in "Return of the Dragon" to introduce one of the most cherished Nintendo beat-em-ups of all time, KUNG FU.

Hence we begin our descent into the fantasy film/fighting game genre with the aforementioned "Return of the Dragon" -- a classic, cliched, and often times humorous movie. With a thinly disguised plot, incredibly sterotypical/stupid bad guys, and a traditional final boss fight at the end, you could have swore the whole movie was taken straight out of a side-scrolling beat 'em up NES title. Is that a bad thing? By film standards, maybe it is. But I hope you lay back and turn off your brain for about 90 minutes because there isn't anything quite like listening to Lee yell as he wields a pair of spinning nunchucks.

I won't ruin any of the story or scenes for you, but I have to give mention to the one-on-one match with Bruce Lee against the then-young (and very hairy) "Walker, Texas Ranger" star Chuck Norris, inside of Rome's famous Coliseum.

If you are not a fan of Bruce Lee yet, seeing his charisma and energetic moves will surely make you one after the movie has ended. R. (Violence)

KICKING THIS MUCH ASS: 7/10

GAME: Bruce Lee's incredibly agile style of fighting should have prepared you enough to handle the Lee-inspired Thomas character of Nintendo's KUNG FU. Remember, everyone has to start at the basics! To get things rolling, start up KUNG FU and kick some ass in style and grace in the stylishly-classic scrolling adventure of rescuing his girlfrield Sylvia from Mr. X.

Not convinced that Nintendo's first generation title was a rip off of the idolized Bruce Lee? Use the Flash movie below to contrast the real thing with the Nintendo voice overs for yourself!

Also see for kung-fu ninja arts: Flying Dragon; Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu; Kung Fu 2 (only released in Japan); Shinobi

MOVIE: Jackie's second official American movie takes him to the Bronx, NY to spend time with his uncle and new aunt. What he did not expect was to be caught in the middle of a gang war for priceless diamonds. Chan's noted comedy mixed with some insane stunts and plenty of butt-kicking will blow you away.

Corny gangs, funny dialogue, intense fights, breathtaking stunts, and one hover craft on the loose could only be the sort of crazy fun movie that Jackie Chan himself could pull off. A great way to get into an actioned state of mind. R. (Violence, Language)

KICKING THIS MUCH ASS: 8/10

GAME: Celebrating the corniness of the gangs from Rumble in the Bronx, take control with DOUBLE DRAGON II (possibly the best of the series) and "knock some sense" into these viciously lame street punks. Punch, flying kick, and throw your way to save your love Marion.

The ass-kicking meter is speeding up!

Also see for traditional (sometimes even humorous) brawlers: Bad Street Brawler; Battletoads; Bad Dudes; Mighty Final Fight; Target: Renegade

MOVIE: Commando (1985) is one of Arnold's earliest silver screen performances in his career and the most explosive before all the Terminator craze. John Matrix, a highly trained killing machine, heads off on a wild goose chase in search for his kidnapped daughter. A woman caught in the middle of things aids Matrix as they collect clue after clue that eventually lead to a remote exotic island hideout spot. But there's no time for vacationing, only for bad guys dying. The one man army takes on anyone and everyone who gets in the way. Peaceful negotiation is not an option.

This ain't your kindergarten cop Schwarzenegger, people. Arnold is equipped with machine guns, shotguns, grenades, axes, throwing knives, plenty of explosives, and one big ass rocket launcher. The mall scene is classic 80's action and the huge body count at the climatic ending of the movie leaves me searching for a much more harsher adjective than "violent". And there aren't any lengthy conversations to get in the way of the bloodshed either. Things are heated up. R. (Violence, Language, Nudity)

KICKING THIS MUCH ASS: 9/10

GAMES: Speaking of one-man armies, the badasses of CONTRA shared a similar solitude attitude and motivation of "kill anything that gets in the way." Relive John Matrix's ending scenes from the movie by making your own outrageous amount of body counts. Alien scum will pay... with their lives!

Pick up a baseball cap, turn it backwards, crack your knuckles, and hold down the machine gun's stream of bullets.

Also see for one-man-takes-all: Cabal; Heavy Barrel; NARC; Ikari Warriors series; Isolated Warrior; Jackal; P.O.W.; Rambo

Also see for Schwarzenegger: Conan; Last Action Hero; Predator; Robocop Vs. Terminator; Terminator; Terminator II; Total Recall

MOVIE: Kick some more gluteus maximus! Jackie, the karate master with great hair, is back! Considered his best filmed work out of the massive library of movies affiliated with him, The Legend of Drunken Master is the ultimate beat 'em up movie.

Drunken boxing, a deadly but risky form of martial art, is the result of when alcohol is mixed with kung fu. Things begin when Wong Fei Hung mixes up his package with another containing an ancient Chinese antique, one of many sought after by the "evil Brits" to sell over to the British museum. Hung masters his technique of drunken boxing, bordering down right binges, to battle for safening his heritage and bring back honor to his father. Anita Mui (Rumble in the Bronx) provides some comic relief in between Hung's hectic fighting which makes the movie a mixed comedic action fest.

The sequel to the 70's hit, Chan brings back his humorous writing and stunts that only a mad man would dare to perform. He brings Hung's character to life with youthful energy, making it hard to believe the daredevil was at the age of 40 when filming. This is the final, end-all martial art movie. The last 20 minutes of the movie is non-stop fighting. See it and be amazed for yourself. PG-13/R. (Violence)

KICKING THIS MUCH ASS: 10/10

For more Jackie Chan: JACKIE CHAN'S ACTION KUNG FU

Wipe off that sweat. Grab yourself a cold spring water. Hit the showers. You did pretty good.. for a wimpy weakling like yourself! To become a real leg-spinning, head-bunting, kick-all-ass machine like myself, though, you must learn more of the art of kung-fu and fighting. Study and master these below video games well enough and you may just become a powerful ninja, too.

NINJA / TRADITIONAL BEAM 'EM UP GAMES FOR THE NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM:

  • Adventures of Bayou Billy
  • Bad Dudes (Data East)
  • Bad Street Brawler (Mattel/Beam Software)
  • Batman Returns (Konami)
  • Batman: Return of the Joker (SunSoft)
  • Battletoads (Rare)
  • Battletoads & Double Dragon (Rare)
  • Best of the Best: Championship Karate (Electrobrain)
  • Commando (Capcom)
  • Conquest of the Crystal Palace (Asmik)
  • Contra Force (Konami)
  • Demon Sword (Taito)
  • Double Dragon (Technos)
  • Double Dragon II (Technos)
  • Double Dragon III (Technos)
  • Dragon Power (Bandai)
  • Fist of the North Star (Toei)
  • Flying Dragon (Culture Brain)
  • Flying Hero (Sony)
  • Flying Warriors (Culture Brain)
  • Ikari Warriors 3 (SNK)
  • Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu (Hudson Soft)
  • Joy Mech Fight (Nintendo)
  • Karate Champ (Data East)
  • Karate Kid (LJN)
  • Kid Niki Radical Ninja (Irem)
  • Kung Fu Heroes (Culture Brain)
  • Last Ninja, The (Jaleco)
  • Legend of Kage (Taito)
  • Little Ninja Brothers (Culture Brain)
  • Master Chu & the Drunkard Hu (Color Dreams)
  • Mighty Final Fight (Capcom)
  • Ninja Crusaders (American Sammy)
  • Ninja Gaiden (Tecmo)
  • Ninja Gaiden II (Tecmo)
  • Ninja Gaiden III (Tecmo)
  • Ninja Kid (Bandai)
  • P.O.W. (SNK)
  • Phantom Fighter (FCI)
  • Renegade (Taito)
  • River City Ransom (Technos)
  • Shadow of the Ninja (Natsume)
  • Shinobi (Tengen)
  • Street Fighter 2010 (Capcom)
  • Target: Renegade (Taito)
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II (Ultra)
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (Ultra)
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters (Konami)
  • Time Lord (Milton Bradley)
  • Toxic Crusaders (Bandai)
  • Wrath of the Black Manta (Taito)
  • Yie Ar Kung Fu (Konami Japan)
  • Zen: Intergalatic Ninja (Konami)