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Girlfriend from Menace Beach
Barbi from T&C 2: Thrilla's Safrai
Annabelle Lane from Adventures of Bayou Billy
Marion from Double Dragon
Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
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WINNER: Barbi
from T&C 2: Thrilla's Surfari
In the conclusion of T&C 2, Barbi exclaims with
a smile, "I knew you would come!! ...from that smelly
wazula!" The usage of penile analogies and hidden
sexual innuendo notwithstanding, Barbi is also by far the
most revealing damsel in distress on the NES. The bad news:
the babe is only interested in apes [she's a "zoophile"
or in Internet terms a "furry"], preferably with
an "oderiferous" name like Thrilla. Majorly
D minus bogus, man.
Additional
Pictures: Babe Sacrifice //
Clevage Alert!
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Woman from Action 52 (Haunted Hills)
Athena from Athena
Barbie
from Barbie
Chick
from Dance Aerobics
Maria
from Krion Conquest
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WINNER: Barbie
from Barbie
A little girl's game this is not! Aside from the fact that
the player adventures into a young teenager girl's dreams
and dresses her in a variety of outfits, there are enough
phallic references [exhibits A
& B] and
interesting circumstances [see below sandwiched meat pic]
to make us wonder if Barbie is as innocent as she appears.
     
Additional
Pictures: Dirty Dreaming
// Happy Days Fetish
// Now You Are Attractive
to Ken! // Crabs
Getting in the Way of Sexiness // Happy
End
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The
Rocketeer: "Kissing"
Crazy
Castle: "Bugs & Babs Bunny"
Wizard
& Warriors: "Romantic end"
Astyanax:
"Awkward love exchange" Ninja
Gaiden II:
"Ryu carrying Irene"
Zelda
II: "Awakened at last"
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WINNER: Astyanax:
"Awkward love exchanage"
The look on Astyanax's
face at the end of the game when he finds out Cutie is still
alive and she hugs him is priceless. I hafta admit that's
the one thing that clinched it for me.
Additional
Pictures: Going down on
him so soon?
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 |
-
Basically just attempting to play Dance Aerobics
in the first place.
Playing Ring King only to see the 'next round'
scenes. Staying
up late into the wee hours to voyeur the relaxing softcore
player movement within Volleyball.
Gaining pleasure from watching the pseudo-lesbian
ending of Legend of the Ghost Lion [regardless
of knowing their mother/daughter
relationship].
Deliberately acting out pr0n scenes in Tiny
Toons Cartoon Workshop.
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|
WINNER: Deliberately
acting out pr0n scenes in Tiny Toons Cartoon Workshop.
It was almost as if
the folks at Konami wanted kids to do this--what,
with all of the humping sound effects & suggestive props
abound. This is the uttermost shameful thing to do on the
NES. (Believe me, I've tried a rainbow multitude of options
to get where I'm at now.) Go ahead and d/l a sample Tiny
Toons pr0n video from the choices below to see the bunnies
go at it.
Download
pr0n video [warning: highly hilarious]:
High
Quality - No Sound (.AVI format)
Lower
Quality - W/ Sound (.WMV format)
Jackalneo's Pr0n (3MB
in .WMV format)
0007.gif)
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 |
Town Women from Zelda II: Adventure of Link
"Chubby Zombie Legs" from an unknown FDS
title
Gold
from American Gladiators
Cavewoman
from Caveman Games
Toxie's
Mom from Toxic Crusaders
Crazy
Valkyrie from Gauntlet II
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|
WINNER: ALL
OF 'EM!....QUICK! RUN AWAAAY!
|
 |
Sachen - Bingo 75
Panesian - Hot Slot
Panesian - Bubble Bath Babes
Panesian - Peek-A-Boo Poker
|
|
WINNER: Peek-A-Boo
Poker
I almost feel bad for Sachen
pornographic titles. They never get drooled over like the
infamous Panesian trio does. This is no time to be routing
for the underdog, though! NES nakedness is at stake! Peek-A-Boo
Poker is really the only Panesian game I can stomach
long enough to see some flashing. Ho, and I don't mean blinking
screens either!
Additional
Pictures
(*nudity):
Hi! I'm Double Dealing Debby!
// You Pervert! // She
Used to Be a Nurse on a Soap Opera // Complete
Nakedness // PMS
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WINNER: Sailor
Fuku Bishoujo Zukan Vol. #1-6 (Famicom Disk System)
This category was by
far the most difficult to judge. Look, I had to decide between
horse racing porn and a semen penile-shooter! But in the
end, the sheer amount of revealing screens that encompass
the whopping six individual volumes of Sailor
Fuku Bishoujo Zukan
clinched its place. Check out the additional pictures below
to encounter some of the most graphic
8-Bit nudity ever uncovered.
Additional
Pictures (*nudity): Title
Screen // Girl
#1
// Girl
#2
// Girl
#3
// Girl
#4
// Girl
#5
// Girl
#6
// Girl
#7
// Girl
#8
// Girl
#9
// Girl
#10
// Girl
#11//
Girl
#12
//
Girl
#13
//
Girl
#14
// Girl
#15
// Girl
#16
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WINNER: Bishojou
SF Alien Battle (Famicom Disk System)
Hacker
International sure does get around. When they're not busy
processing mail-in rental orders for their Panesian titles
in the US, they go out beyond the definition of indecency
and achieve the unspeakable -- 8-Bit alien tentacle hentai.
That's right, in a sort of mocking Poker game, SF Alien
Battle triggers 6 very provocative/unhealthy obsessions
with tentacles inserted inside a poor woman.
According
to Professor Susan J. Napier from the University of Texas,
who teaches Japanese lit/culture, males in Japan have an
inferiority complex towards women in intimately binding
relationships. This
self-conscious problem has driven anime and other forms
of media artists to portray the opposite sex as innocent
and easily obtainable/controllable; i.e. the recurring images
of women dressed in schoolgirl outfits, a symbol of non-threatening
manner. Similarly, it is proposed that tentacle sex is popular
because of the overwhelming power over a usually subservient
female. As you can see by looking at this form of pornography
in this context, the 'hentai' obsession is more of a way
to express the male's inferior social conforms to modern
society, rather than merely a simple (albeit strange) fetish.
Additional
Pictures
(*sex/nudity):
Sweet
Girl // Game
Card screen // Score
screen // Nasty
#1 // Nasty
#2
//Nasty
#3 // Nasty
#4//
Nasty
#5 // Ending
|
Super Pig - Bishojou Sexy Derby - 
Wild - Bishojou Control - 
Phoenix - Bishojou
Shashinkan - Studio Cut - 
Mimi
- Sailor Fuku Bishoujo Zukan Vol. #1-6
