|
 
 Update:
1-15-07 |
Read
the current update here.
| Update:
1-09-07 |
Read
the current update here.
| Update: 9-04-06 |
|
"Vietnamese
Bubble Baths"
|
God,
forgive me for preparing this update on the Sabbath.
Laziness, forgive me for actually updating on Labor
Day.
We
have a brand new tongue-in-cheek software profile of
the Famicom version of Bubble Bath Babes, Soap
Panic. Learn about the differences between the
original Hacker International release and the Panesian
release. Also, look at the comparisons of the other
two Panesian adult Nintendo videogames with their Japanese
counterparts. (Warning: Explicit content)
Unfortunately
in the article I did not have enough sanity to collect
all of the cut scenes in Bubble Bath Babes. I
will try to update the feature some time when I am in
a better frame of mind to include those pictures. To
compensate, I made a small Flash animation at the end
of the piece.
Page
two of the Site History
has been added by a someone who says they know me. I
can't remember much of that time in my life anymore.
Too many bad memories have been blocked out with the
passing of time. Anyway, see for yourself and read part
two of the Site History right
here.
Stay
tuned for a very special Adventures
in Nintendo Whoredom when I explore a Nintendo Halloween
merchandising item to end all other... Nintendo Halloween
merchandising items.
| Update: 6-16-06 |
|
"Whores
& Lamenting: Always the Twain Shall Meet"
|
As
promised on the message board some time ago, I completed
a new feature which I call Adventures
in Nintendo Whoredom. As the name suggests, installments
of this feature series will spotlight on silly, obnoxious,
or just plain unnecessary merchandising products that
Nintendo has tried to push on to fans and consumers.
The first installment focuses on The
Legend of Zelda board game by Milton Bradley. It
is part one of a two part series entitled "Super
Legends of Nintendurbation." (Yes, just like real
advertising companies, more time went into the names
themselves than any of the content.)
Also
new in this update, a nicely done editorial by Justin
Sells ("Doc" on the board): "Laments
of an Old School Gamer" is up under Editorials.
I agree with many of the points he makes, although I
am a modern gamer just as much as I am an old school
player. Originality and playability in the mainstream
of video games is severely lacking, with break-out hits
spawning sequel ever sequel or even new genres because
of competing companies' insist on cashing in on the
formula (i.e. "GTA clones"). There are a few
companies out there still wishing to push the boundary
(I believe Nintendo is one of them), though, which keeps
me hopeful for the future. In any case, I will always
have the old classics to fall back on.
Finally,
Sword_Gun has submitted pictures and some information
regarding his pirate system
"Super 57000 Video Game" in the Pirates
NES/FC section. A clone of a clone? Those nutty
Asian piraters! It looks just like the Polystation,
and has 57 different games in total.
[DISCUSS
THIS UPDATE ON THE MESSAGEBOARD]
| Update: 5-19-06 |
|
"Parodius
Paralysis"
|
Another
NES prototype has been added to Protos/Unreleased.
This time it's the goofy-ass Parodius
that gets the red carpet treatment. What's more, Metaleggman
(who has the only foot
I've ever seen smoke), from the NP board, has submitted
the entire manual and scans of the box and cartridge
from the game for your sweating nerdy pleasure. Parodius
Daaa!
Photographs
taken of my
"El Cuarto de Doom" can be accessed through
my collection page,
or alternatively, here.
Come to see the NES games and talking Urkel doll, stay
to feed the Sea Monkeys.
Lastly,
a former "celebrity" of the site, Lisker,
has re-emerged on the messageboard.
If you've ever read the Comic
Strips, you're already familiar with his work. Pester
him to write some more funnies.
| Update: 4-02-06 |
|
"Welcome
to my store, customer!"
|
I
acquired my second NES prototype just recently; this
one came all the way from Sweden. Read about the slight
changes from the NTSC released version and see some
photos of my Batman
Returns prototype sample in Protos/Unreleased.
My
messageboard friends have voted, and they wanted to
see first scanned into the Nintendo
Literature section the exciting Golden Look-Look
book The
Legend of Zelda
Moblin's Magic Spear. With such poetry as "Stop!"
roared the creature. "No one can walk through Molbin's
land!", surely this literary treasure was robbed
of its propers; should have definitely won the Booker
Prize in '89. It's really too bad Jack C. Harris, the
author, couldn't quite get the spelling of the main
enemy's name down. Molblin? Molbin? Moblin? I always
thought the correct spelling was "moblin"
so screw off, Jack.
Finally,
my collection page
has been updated with loads of stuff. I've been on a
buying rampage lately so check back often.
P.S.
Make sure to order your copies of Super Mario Super
Show on DVD! The cheapest price I could find online
is $17.94
at DDD.
| Update: 3-13-06 |
|
"THIS
PRODUCT IS FOR FUN--NO PRIZES AWARDED"
|
The
Interaction directory on the left side went to NES Player
Directory Heaven. My reason for taking out the old girl
has to do with the fact that most of the pages found
under her were long dead and no longer updated. The
vernacular guide and interactional games have been moved
under Bonus Stage at the left, or here.
I'm debating on what to do with the rest of the stuff
(mail bag, IRC, etc.).
Taking
its place is the new Information section, dividing up
the former nose-bleedingly long info page. The recent
Maxi 15 article,
for example, can now be accessed through the Hardware
& Software profiles. The rest is pretty self-explanatory.
You might notice some other sections removed. Gone is
the Biography (replaced with Site History, which will
be added soon) and I also did away with Links (if you
would like to advertise your site, please go
to the messageboard). One more, Worlds
of Power is found inside of Nintendo
Books to make room for more Nintendo literature
to come in the future.
To
christen the new information section, I added a new
non-game prototype to the Protos/Unreleased.
This one is of the original art used for the Topps Game
Park trading cards, which The Topps Vault recently put
up a bulk of them for auction on eBay. Yours truly won
one of the lots, and to find out which it is, you're
gonna have to scratch
off to find out!
Last
but not least is the change of banner at the top. I
thought it was a fun change, seeing the unrealistically
happy family I always pined for gathered around enjoying
Mario together. Ahhhh. All fucking lies. It helps
distract me from the dysfunctions of my own family,
I suppose. Maybe this calls for a new NP slogan. "NES
Player: Keeping families dysfunctional!" or "NES
Player: Because it beats the hell out of going to family
therapy!" I need a drink. :(
| Update: 3-09-06 |
|
"Q:
What's better than 52 games and hell a lot cheaper
than only 6 in 1? A: Maxivision 15. "
|
Woe,
my NES collecting brethren, woe is me when I see so
many shitty NES games going for such royal prices. The
last two 6 in 1 Caltrons on eBay went for $225
and $250. Action 52's worth? Its worth is nothing
if you enjoy playing your games! So what is an avid
collector and NES player to do? How will he ever get
his multicart fix without feeling shameful and filthy?
Cast
out yee evil
Cheetahmen! Rejoice! For on the Seventh Day, American
Video Entertainment made Maxivision 15 and said, "It
is good." Read up on what is one of the largest
features online devoted solely to the
Maxi 15 multicart, the most affordable and arguably
best unlicensed multicart for the NES.
In
other news, Justin from the NES
Player messageboard submitted info on his Quickshot
controller. He was also kind enough to contribute
a much better photo of the Eliminator
accessory. Thanks Justin!
As
a late addition to this update, Shmorky
scanned info about the NES
Hands Free Controller, an accessory Nintendo designed
to be used by handicapped children.
(Remember
you too can submit an accessory if it has not yet been
covered in the Accessories
section. Send me
an e-mail or visit the forums.)
And
as a parting gift, if for some reason you wish to relive
the Famicom translation madness, the Mr. Gold parody
movie was moved to Flash
Movies to be archived there.
| Update: 3-01-06 |
|
"Harder,
Better, Faster, Stronger, And Now With More Bandwidth."
|
I'm
sick and tired of NP going down every month and I'm
not going to take it anymore! I finally forced myself
to upgrade the hosting server to allow a lot more visitor
traffic so that the site will remain up every month.
Paying for more bandwidth means the site's bills will
increase for me and come out of my (usually empty) pockets,
so please support the site by clicking on the Google
ads on the front page and maybe donating a couple of
dollars to my
Paypal if you can spare anything.
The
NES Player messageboard is open! The decision to
up the bandwidth allowance was not to only keep the
site up each month, but also because late last month
NES Player opened its first messageboard in years. The
upgrade will allow the extra bandwidth to be shared
with the new board and support its growth. At first
the idea of forums was to be a small-time affair thing,
but now because of the upgrade, I've added more sections
that will hopefully grow bigger and turn into a lively,
intelligent, laid back spot for classic gamers. NES
players of all ages and backgrounds are welcome to stop
in to comment on anything on NP, make suggestions, inquire
about submissions, ask questions, post gaming brags,
advertise your own site, or just plain talk about anything
else imaginable (that is, if it's legal). It's easy
to join and start posting, so do it today!
ATTENTION
PEOPLE WHO WOULD LIKE TO E-MAIL ME: Please use the messageboard
to contact me instead! You'll get the top priority of
my eyes if you do.
And
finally for an actual update, I finished a Flash movie
I've been working on for some time. It's inspired by
the theme song from a game made for the Famicom Disk
System, which is called "Mr. Gold Kinsan in the
Space." Watch Mr.
Gold Kinsan in the Parody.
Also
added some info and pics of another FDS game called
"Tarot" at the bottom of the Taboo
feature.
One
last thing: I think the current layout of the site is
getting to be stale (yet again). I was looking for a
bit fancier, more professional front index page while
just keeping the layout for the individual sections
as they are now. If you are interested in helping me
out and you know what you're doing, please get in touch
with me on the messageboard. I would love to hear any
ideas.
[DISCUSS
THIS UPDATE ON THE MESSAGEBOARD]
| Update: 2-19-06 |
|
"You
are the finest superrobot I have ever built."
|
Worlds
of Power update. Reviewed,
summarized, typed
the first chapter, and scanned the Junior Worlds
of Power novel Mega Man 2. This one's a doosey. Also
rewrote the introduction to Worlds of Power, found on
the WOP index, adding
new details and information. Two horrible Nintendo books
down. Only eight to go. When will I snap? Only time
will tell.
Wrote
a small article about the growing trend of classic games
becoming inspiration for artists, focusing on a very
talented painter who calls himself "8-Bit Artist."
Samples of his works and what techniques he uses to
paint have been added to the 8-Bit
Artristry feature, found in Special
Features.
Edited
and included new tips to the ever expanding Collector
Craze page. There are some new wacky eBay photos
to slobber over, including one overweight eBay seller,
so check it out and have a laugh (at the asshole's expense).
My
collection has been updated with games galore and
some interesting scans of Nintendo books I own: Five-Finger
Piano Solos Super Mario Bros. Party Songs for Kids
(a Piano Sheet Music) and The
Best of Nintendo Comic System (a Hardback book).
I can play "Skip to My Lou" on the keyboard
thanks to Mario!
And
if
you missed The Daily Show episode, go
here while the joke is still funny. Don't dick with
Dick.
"Just
flowin' smooth with the power kickin' it up hour after
hour." - Iceman
| Update: 1-25-06 |
|
"A
novel based on the best-selling NINTENDO game!"
|
It's
really been some kind of winter for us people on the
east coast. My friends, keep telling yourself global
warming is fiction as you put on your "Roots"
t-shirt and khaki shorts before heading outside in the
middle of January (that is, to those people not blessed
enough to be living in California or Florida). As I'm
sure you can tell, I have the winter blues. But enough
of that... Start!
The
ninth and final Captain
Nintendo chapter has actually been up since New
Year's, but now I am officially announcing its addition
today. If you haven't gotten the chance yet to read
it, indulge yourself one last time into the heroic life
of Captain N in "The
Last Adventure."
Over
at Special Features,
I browsed a number of online game retailers for scans
and compiled a page dedicated to the Classic
NES Series GBA ports mainly for archive purposes.
Apparently these guys remain to this day to be hot sellers,
and especially so in the case of Super
Mario Bros. Who would have thought people would
pay so much for SMB with the NES cart's common
rarity? My personal recommendations (and the only Classic
NES carts I own) are: The Legend of Zelda and
Zelda II. Both are true classics and great to
play on-the-go, plus they have never been ported to
the GBC, E-Reader, or GBA before (unlike the rest of
the Classic NES Series, save for Castlevania).
For
all of your consumer needs, various new items have been
added to the Merchandise
section.
Some
minor eye candy changes have been made throughout the
site. For example, pictures of cool dudes modelling
NES accessories in the Accessories
directory, a slightly newer Editorials
banner, and a few random images rearranged on the front
page.
For
2006 I hope to continue contributing to NES Player and
add some more interactive things to get you NES nerds
involved. Right now I have a stack full of Worlds
of Power "novels" coming to me, and being
the astute English major that I am, I will probably
be reviewing and summarizing them in the same manner
as I did covering Blaster
Master. Yes, F.X. Nine will become my bitch, and
I his. I will be forced to switch from serious literature
mode to kiddy Scholastic mode on a day-to-day basis--from
James Joyce's Ulysses to Jack C. Harris, the
author of such classics as Super Mario Bros: Trapped
in the Perilous Pit and Moblin's Magic Spear.
It will be an interesting and numbing experience, to
say the least. But if that wasn't enough nerd excitement
to get your taped glasses blown off your collective
pizza faces, I have plans to reanimate another long
defunct section: the TV
Shows/Cartoons. I'll soon have in my hands a slew
of old Nintendo VHS tapes to dissect on the site (i.e.
this entailing me making fun of the video production
values and writing the word "neon color" many
times over). Now we're playing with power!
| Update: 12-09-05 |
|
"I'm
dreaming of a white..."
|
I
know you NESers have been jonsing for an update from
me, and I'm sorry for leaving you out in the cold [wintery
pun intended]. I'm going to make it up to you and hit
you with a big snowball today. You can thank the snow
on account of cancelling my classes for that.
By
my calculation, we're three weeks behind in the Captain
Nintendo saga, so submitted for your approval are
chapters 6: The
Captain Goes Hollywood, 7:
The Real Power Behind Captain Nintendo, and 8:
New Worlds to Conquer and a New Superhero!. That
should you keep your eyes busy for a while, and it leaves
us with only chapter 9 left. Check back later for the
final installment!
Emmanuel
from France has sent in a couple of photos of his gigantic
Mario stance sign for the merchandise
section. Images: [Big
Mario #1] [Big
Mario #2] Now I know what I want for the holidays...
Don't
forget to check out Winter-Themed
Games for the NES for 'tis the season to be playing
indoors.
| Update: 11-18-05 |
|
"Just
start screaming RAPE!!!!!"
|
Attention
Game Masters! Another week comes bringing another new
chapter of Captain
Nintendo! In Chapter
5: Captain Nintendo Lives, things are getting
juicy as the Captain talks about the marketing strategy
behind Captain N; the meaning behind the character's
girlfiend, Tara Bates; and the inevitable "rape"
of the character out of the Captain's hands and into
DiC for the production of the cartoon series.
Check
back next week for the sixth installment, entitled "The
Captain Goes to Hollywood"!
The
Captain would like to hear from you! Send your
questions, comments, suggestions, gripes, fan mail,
naked photographs, etc. to mike@nesplayer.com
and I shall forward any messages I receive along to
the one and only Captain Nintendo, himself! We would
like to hear from you, so don't delay. Write today!
OK?
| Update: 11-11-05 |
|
"Gee,
this is gettin' good."
|
Attention
Game Masters! Another new chapter of Captain Nintendo
available online! In Chapter
4: Enter Captain Nintendo, read about the
humble beginnings of the Captain's idea and how it spawned
into a two-part series that was featured on Nintendo
Power. (That mini-origins story can also be found in
the chapter, courtesty of tsr's
NES archive.) Remember to tune in next Friday for
Chapter 5!
An
update on the coverage I gave of the Super
Mario World pirate cartrdige: a complete dump of
the full version ROM (which includes the lost levels)
has been released here.
Thanks to Techokami for pointing that out.
Also,
I would like to welcome NES
Fanz as our latest affiliate.
| Update: 11-04-05 |
|
"All
the excitement of real fishing! Right in your
NES!"
|
Attention
Game Masters! New chapter of Captain Nintendo available
online! In Chapter
3: Every Captain Must Have His Mother Brain,
the Captain talks about his trials and tribulations
while working on early issues of Nintendo Power, and
the importance of a "positive voice" and spin
in a magazine geared towards kids, gaming, and, most
of all, advertisers.
You
can look out for new chapters to be added every week
from now on, so check back around this time next week
for Chapter 4 and the origins story of Captain N!
Jason
Hogan likes to flick boogers, pass gass, and participate
in burping contests so much so that he decided to turn
his vulgar habits into a game
review! Check out his take (and screen shots) of
the Russian pirate based on the nasty Super Nintendo
title, Boogerman,
in the pirates section.
Keep-a
gaming!
| Update: 10-14-05 |
|
"Stop.
What's that sound? Listen when the Captain says
what's going down."
|
Enthusiastic
mail has come in, even internationally, complementing
the new Captain Nintendo
exposé. I'm very pleased to announce that
we have another exciting installment to add tonight,
courtesy, again, of the Captain.
In
Chapter 2: "A
Change in Responsibilites" the Captain
continues to look back on his time at Nintendo by talking
about Game Counselors who abused their powers like a
ring of Gyges, how he encountered Japanese bigotry from
the top, why the invention of the Nintendo Power automatic
letter response happened, and much more to bring us
in on a deeper, closer look into this (once and still
is) immensely private company during the NES's heyday.
[Read this article.]
Jason
Hogan has written four new reviews: Ghosts
'N Goblins, Kick
Master, Renegade,
WCW Wrestling. With
these submissions our review
count reaches a cool 95. Besides these reviews,
Jason also typed up a summary of his pirated 3
in 1 Super Gun over in the pirates
section.
Also
in the pirates, Hugo
Desmeules sent in some info and photos on his pirate
carts: 5000 in 1
Supper Value Collection (mmm...supper!),
Master Fighter
VI (Street Fighter 2 clone), Super
Rescue Robocop 3, & Turtles
(a TMNT clone).
Cameron
Shelton has submitted some info on an interesting accessory
called The
Dominator. This device believe it not apparently
adds wireless functionality to the Power Pad, Zapper,
and other accessories on top of acting as a standalone
joystick.
In
the Flash directory,
the previously posted NES
Basic Tips - Blinking Screen movie is archived there.
Also, while going through that section, I uncovered
a long lost Flash film from way back. I call it: "All
Washed Up." This
is what happens when you current gen-only gamers take
over! E-cards!?! [Warning: Large download, Small
Laughs]
You
may have noticed the new Halloween touch to the top
banner. To aid you into getting caught up in the Fall
festive mood, browse through Halloween
Countdown Bash (which has been updated w/ new reviews)
for a ghoulishly haunting time. Don't forget to light
those jack-o-lanterns!
| Update: 9-09-05 |
|
"You
can call him 'Captain'."
|
What
a week! Classes officially started back everywhere,
Hurricane Katrine toppled New Orleans killing hundreds
(potentially thousands), and President Bush managed
to embarrass the country for the umpteenth time. Time
to add one more piece of news, no matter how minor it
might seem in comparison: NES Player finally received
an update!
There
is a new section in which I hope will grow into one
of the main highlights of the site. In "Captain
Nintendo: You Can Call Him 'Captain'" chapter
one is up of hopefully an ongoing saga told by a former
Nintendo Power editor-in-chief, during the magazine's
beginning years, and who is the brains behind the legendary
NES icon character, Captain N. When 'Captain' and I
first talked we were throwing around the idea of doing
only a single interview. However, given the scope and
the many interesting experiences he wished to share
with fans, we decided upon a more complete edition through
chapter format. This, in turn, will provide a greater
detailed look inside the company (and industry) during
the NES days for us to try to construct in our heads.
Just
some topics that may very well appear in future chapters
include: the seedier side of the Nintendo company, how
Captain N helped save a terminally ill boy, and flying
to the 1989 movie premiere of Batman with Sylvester
Stallone, Eddie Murphy, and other celebrities.
Giovani
"Cospefogo" Faganello, a fan of the site from
Southern Brazil, has submitted a slew of great photos
of his FDS games. The first batch were of Doki Doki
Panic, hence they can be found in the game's special
feature. The rest have been sorted in an image gallery
on the Famicom Disk
System info page. You can click on them below to
view them also.
I
revised my biography
for all to see (if you so dare to). It deals with the
strangeness that is me.
A
reminder to DVD collectors and retro specialists everywhere:
look out for the complete Legend
of Zelda series box set due out this October
11th in the U.S. and another set for the Super
Mario Super Show sometime in early 2006. Also,
much to the delight of late 80's-early 90's cartoon
enthusiasts, Disney plans to release two of their most
revered Disney Afternoon line up shows, Duck Tales
and Rescue Rangers,
on November 8th. Ch-Ch-Ch.. woo-hoo!
Finally,
the buzz around town is about our affiliate Messiah's
Generation
NEX console, which its date of release is nearing
us sometime at the end of September/October. We will
try to manage to get our hands on one to review it,
but until then if anyone else plans to pick it up, please
don't hesitate to e-mail
me your thoughts and/or reviews!
| Update: 7-15-05 |
|
"This
double super secret update leak brought to you
by Karl Rove."
|
I
am reminded of a DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince song
from the early nineties called "Summertime"
every year around this time. As if you didn't notice,
NP has gone untouched over the Summer break. Wait, until
now, that is. I couldn't stand to hear the screams coming
of the ever growing update load from within my inbox.
This will be the last update before the site counter
reaches 400,000 hits, and I am greatful to all of the
past and present staff, contributors, and especially
visitors that made me obsess over this website throughout
the years. Long gone are the days of updating daily
as when things began, but I have not forgotten the people
I've met from this experience and it's a testament to
you guys for keeping me going with this thing.
We
begin with my friend and yours, The Collector, who scanned
a gajillion different advertisement scans for the Advertisements
section in Media.
>>Batman
Return of the Joker
>>Best
of the Best
>>Bucky
O'Hare
>>Dr.
Chaos
>>Hook
>>Hydlide
>>Laser
Invasion
>>Lemmings
>>Mega
Man 5
>>Metal
Gear
>>Monster
In My Pocket
>>Phantom
Fighter
>>RC
Pro AM 1/2, Indy Heat
>>Simpsons
Vs. Games
>>Tiny
Toon Adventures
>>Tiny
Toon Adventures 2
>>Tiny
Toon Adventures Cartoon Workshop
>>TMNT
>>TMNT
III Manhattan Project
>>TMNT
Games Miscellaneous
>>WCW
World Championship Wrestling
>>Zen
Intergalactic Ninja
And
before we move on, a congratulations is in order to
Chris for taking the dive and registering a dot com
for his personal website Pocky
Box. (Check out his super fine sponsor there too!)
Next
we have a ton of new merchandise info and pictures,
courtesy of Speedy_NES. Some of these are the most amazing,
tear-jerking pictures related to the NES that you may
very well see in your whole life. You know I do not
say those words very often, so I mean it! Keep your
eyes out for some interesting foreign flair thrown in
there.
>>Mario
plush doll from Acme Front
- Back
>>Holographic
"Nintendo Cereal System" mug - (3 holographic
images) - 1
/ 2
/ 3
/ 4
/ 5
/ 6
/ 7
>>Nintendo
National Safe Kids Campaign trading cards
- SMB3
(back) / SMB
(back) / Link
(front) / SMB
(front)
>>Nintendo
Power - Binder Folder - Made in 1988 - outside
/ inside
>>Nintendo
Power 1990 Calendar
>>Nintendo
Power 1991 Calendar
>>Nintendo
Power Super Mario Bros. Mario Madness Card Games - score
card / front
/ back
/ manual
>>Nintendo
Power Super Mario Bros. Monster Trix Card Games - front
/ back
/ manual
>>Nintendo
Power Super Mario Bros. Super Zock Card Games - front
/ back
/ manual
>>Nintendo
Punch Embroidery from Plaid Enterprises - 1990
- Super Mario Designs - Front
/ Back
>> | 
