Everyone
remembers that one toy when they were a child that contained such a
butchered version of the English language that the toy was inoperable.
As my Engrish bearing CAPP teacher, Mr. Chan, always says, "I'rr
want yotoo leaves the crassloom." The Famicom, like any other Asian
imported toy was not free from translators such as Mr. Chan. Continuing
my in-depth coverage into the humorous side of the Famicom, I've decided
to investigate the kingdom of piracy for physical evidence of this crime
against grammar. After scavenging through my Famicom collection, I discovered
quite a few odd Engrish interpretations on the back labels of carts.
Man, what a jumbled mess of filth and soil. The gutter mouth that created
this humorous spectacle should be especially proud of, "should
avoid violent bumps is necessary". In all my days, I've never heard
a bump described as "violent". Better be careful, or you too
will become a victim of violent bumps.
"Friends don't let friends become victims of violent bumps."
Here are another 2 examples of the basic "Remarks" label.
This one goes above and beyond the other pirate cart and offers you
a "guaranty". I don't know about you, but I'm already sold.
To the left of that comical misspelling, is a bunch of mumbo jumbo
gibberish, "The unique manufacturer adopting high class IC and
processed by not oxodized gold plate on the apparatus to protect protect
your IPU." Somebody get me an Engrish to English dictionary please,
I'm confused.
This Famicom to NES converter that tries so hard. It actually is *fairly*
grammatically correct, but It seems to fall apart at the end. "If
you find the picture is flashing or isn't operating after turning the
power on, please push reset button 3 to 5 seconds and releave. It will
be OK." Now that I'm being comforted by a Famicom converter, I
feel so much better. My Nintendo is broken, but its going to be OK.
Life will go on...
Just when I thought it was safe to go outside, they throw this at
me. The pirates obviously learned that they were becoming the butt-end
of jokes over seas due to their poor translating skills. The solution?
They decided to draw pictures instead of fumbling around with the
English language. It all seemed good in theory, but when the product
was released, four "realistic" household hazards were displayed.
Realistic
Household Hazard #1: Melting the entire freaking cartridge with a
fire spurting finger.
Realistic Household Hazard #2: Smashing the whole thing to pieces
with a mallet.
Realistic Household Hazard #3: Running a faucet full blast onto your
game.
Realistic Household Hazard #4: Feeding the cart to your average household
alligator.
You
would be amazed at how many games are lost every year through poor
handling around open croc tanks.
After
the pirate companies realized they sucked at creating original warning
labels, they retired in defeat. They broke down and copied Nintendo's
official warning. I mean, think of the logic behind this. "We
illegally steal games and re-release them at a lower cost, but we
are still a respected establishment. We make our own warning labels."
