REGISTER YOUR NAME
Mike - 12/27/02

Since arcades first debuted, players have had the chance to brag about their gaming feats by filling in their very own 3-letter initials into the high score list. Similarly, when Nintendo hit the home console markets, many titles gave the gamer a chance to personalize their adventurers by entering their own names.

I had almost forgotten the first time I ever had the pleasure of typing in a name; specifically for the Adventures of Link. As I got back into the NES and brought out my then dust filled carts a couple of years ago, I popped in Zelda II. Below the names of my cousins was: 'POOP'. Yes, POOP. I chuckled a little, realizing I haven't matured all too much since that distant time, and discovered after further prying that some of my other games had similar saved curses.

Enter your Intials: _ _ _

Enter your Intials: A_ _

Enter your Intials: AS_

Enter your Intials: ASS

Yes, I will admit, it is a childish and stupid thing to do. But I shall also be the first to say I still do it today! I could never understand how you were supposed to name mages, wizards, and fighters in RPGs to accurately keep the theme of that certain game. Sure, you could go the sissy way out by choosing the template, generic names given to you by the game. Not I, though! When I see my black mage attack, I want 'BUTT' to attack! (Personality over no personality.)

In fact, for some cases, different naming affects critical game time moments. For instance, the esque of Dragon Warrior lies within the different NPC personalities. Observe.

It also helps if the name adapts to fit the nature of the game. You can put a whole new meaning to once-spiceless games like Spiritual Warfare. Try "Atheist", and preach on the good word of... absolutely no word at all! (Fool God!)

So remember the next time when asked to input a name, don't go the easy way out with a dear pet's name or otherwise lame entry. Call the proud adventurer BUCKNKED, and embark with your trusty friend SCHLONG on the many wonderous Nintendo journeys you are sure to have together.