Another Day, Another Donkey Kong Country Pirate... Or Is It?
------------------------------
I
knew from the very start that this was not going to be a typical
Donkey Kong Country pirated port.
The balls - the titanium steel balls of pirate game
company Hosenkan Electronics to claim a copyright on their
cheap knock-off of Rare/Nintendo property. "For a pirate
company to want their game protected, this has to be something
good," I thought to myself.
Three
minutes later: "Goddamn your proprietary information
and your prior written consent! To the Internet
to post a review I go!"
The
game isn't so hot, but I soon found out that at least this
pirate attempted something original by porting the Game Boy
version, Donkey Kong Land, instead of the Super Nintendo
title. The changes are not many between the GB and SNES versions,
but still, the levels are arranged differently and so it's
a nice change to play something new in the crowding pirate
market.
On
the bright side, I was impressed with the pirate's soundtrack.
David
Wise's memorable Donkey Kong Country score is emulated
fairly well onto the NES. Have a listen to one of my favorite
tracks to get an impression of the music quality:
The
rest of this port, however, is shoddy at best. There are only
five stages to the game that loop again and again (there is
no ending to speak of); the controls are mind-numbingly poor;
and the graphics (save for the title and game over screens)
are not nearly as impressive as the other Super Donkey Kong
pirate games sold. Also, extra lives are difficult to obtain
as the banana items collected in one stage cannot be carried
to the next. Question: What is the point of bananas if there
are fewer than a hundred in a single stage and there is no
way to accumulate more in future stages? Answer: Just to piss
the gamer off.
Walkthrough
------------------------------
The
first stage is on a pirate ship. Take notice of the smiling
clouds in the sky. Makes me want to turn on the black light
and mellow out to some Pink Floyd, man.
There
is no fanfare or victory dance at the end of stages. Donkey
(or Diddy) Kong merely strolls off stage and you are taken
back to the map and to the next stage.
The
Kremlings in this game walk lamely; the poor things have limp
legs. I just can't bring myself to jump on the crippled bastards.
About
halfway into stage three the developers put in a little easter
egg / glitch. One wise Kremling, in the words of Billy Joel,
is movin' out - he walks straight out of the game. How I envy
you, green Kremling.
Quick: what's the first thing that comes to mind when you
see the background clouds? I am not sharing mine, but let
me tell you, it wasn't bananas.
The
developers ran out of cloud graphics, unfortunately.
Again,
this stage is sorely lacking in drug-induced clouds.
My
favorite stage of them all: the underwater level is a bit
of a maze, complete with dead ends and spinning star fish.
Enemies
------------------------------
Snake
Hornet
Kremling
Kremling
(jumper)
Fish
Starfish
Clam
Shark
GB / NES Comparison
------------------------------
GB
NES
GB
NES
GB
NES
GB
NES
Ending
------------------------------
-info, all scanned, and camera
pictures for use on NES Player only
Another Day, Another Donkey Kong Country Pirate... Or Is It?
The balls - the titanium steel balls of pirate game
company Hosenkan Electronics to claim a copyright on their
cheap knock-off of Rare/Nintendo property. "For a pirate
company to want their game protected, this has to be something
good," I thought to myself.
Quick: what's the first thing that comes to mind when you
see the background clouds? I am not sharing mine, but let
me tell you, it wasn't bananas.
