Retro Halloween Costumes
~Mike

Halloween night is one of the most cherished in America for kids everywhere. It's the feeling of dressing up and skipping from door to door for candy and getting sick to the stomach before the night is over.

Almost everything remains the same every year: the decorations, the cool Fall ambiance, the candy. Well just about everything. It's true that the one thing that is constantly in motion, especially for younger kids, is the various costumes that alter yearly and change with the growing popular trends.

I chose six of the most defining costumes of the late eighties and early ninties -- the time during the golden Nintendo age. So enjoy and try to reminisce.

6. Bebop (TMNT)

Ah, the Ninja Turtles. My favorite cartoon. What other way could we possibly kick off a good retrospect of past Halloweens than starting with the lean green fighting machines? Or in this case, one of their foes... yes... here it is...

BEBOP!! Holy God is my heart pumping madly. The artist work on that plastic Bebop head is a wee too much for this writer's overactive nostalgic tendencies. The mask alone is great enough even if only for just watching T.V., or robbing a local convenient store, or lounging by the YMCA's pool. Too bad the rest of the get-up isn't as, how you say, up to par in this workmanship.

Oh Jesus Christ. They cut out the outfit from a pack of Glad trash bags. I won't even mention the terrible artwork on the "shirt portion." Oops, I did. It's just that (correct if I'm wrong), I never remember Bebop wearing a shirt with his likeness on it nor a stupid name tag. When will costume makers learn that the kids who choose bad guy costumes know who the bad guy is. We don't need to let the grown ups know who the hell Bebop is and what he's supposed to look like. When will they learn that the child wants to become Bebop. THE CHILD IS BEBOP! Who are you to take that away from the innocent child?

Think of the lost opportunities here. They could have stuck to the usual Bebop attire. And how about some plastic turtle shell shoulder pads, for chrissake!

Because you can't spell flame retardant without "retard."

5. Ninja Turtles

Don't confuse these costumes with that of the new TMNT series airing on Fox Box. These are the genuine 1989 turtle outfits. I remember these quite clearly for my older cousin was Raphael one year.

The thing that struck me odd about this costume then and still now was the grotesque turtle shell back pack. To describe it would be to say it was teetering somewhere in between the fine line of the "I'm looking forward to my ass being kicked by a group of rowdy teenagers" and something of a divine gift from the gods above. I still haven't to this day been able to distinguish which it is.

If your whole moto was to scrap the costume and buy a mask, then you might have run across Mirage Studio's own TMNT rubber masks dated 1989. Believe it or not these suckers retailed for $18.95 and I have to say they are pretty weak in detail and generally worse looking than the ridiculous turtle shell costume. This is one instance when 1st party merchandise isn't always the best choice.

Fortunately there was a better, and more expensive, latex mask made by Don Post Studios in '89/'90. Unlike the Mirage version, this one covered the entire head. I believe there were no color variations, just red, as this was the original lone palette for the comic book turtles. I recently picked one up on eBay for $10 this year. Worth every penny.


Click to Enlarge

And now the ugly. In 1990 the evil and sick minds at Butterick gave mothers across the homeland the intel to create pyschological stress to children of all ages. Introducing (or re-introducing mental breakdowns, as it were)... THE HOMEMADE "OH MY GOD A NINJA TURTLE IS SWALLOWING MY HEAD WHOLE" HALLOWEEN COSTUME!!! If you were one of the unlucky ones to have had to lived through a Halloween like this, my heart and prayers go out to you. I hope the medication takes all the pain away.

 

4. Ghost (Real Ghosbusters)

If this isn't the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life, I don't what is. I really don't. I present this as Exhibit A in the case of child companines that don't give a fuck about the children. I don't even know where to begin. The bag itself in all its piss yellow attractiveness says more than I ever could. My favorite part is the caption "Fits Ages 8 To Adult One Size Only." No fucking joke! It's a white trash bag! A 300 pound woman physically stuck to her couch could put this thing on!

The included paper "topper mask" looks more to me like some ghostly white fecal matter rather than the fictional ghost-logo's head. Which raises the question of do ghosts defecate? I'll let you argue that one out on your own.

 

3. Ghostbusters

Also from Ben Cooper, the same company that produced the sickening costume above. They actually redeemed themselves with this vinyl Egon Spengler mask and plastic costume. Although missing is the Harold Ramis Jewish nose, though still obviously based on the 'Real Ghostbusters' cartoon series, the depiction of the famous ghost doctor is pretty close to being accurate. Though he does have a nasty attitude about him. Perhaps an explanation to that could be the palm-sized Slimer that is bursting out of his rib cage.

Also around this time of the Ghostbusters peak was a circulation of reproduced trademark jump suits. This one-piece suit, coupled with the Kenner toy proton pack and foam gun, made complete the ghostbusting experience.

As a finishing touch to the already clever jump suits were the words on the back: "Back off Man I'm a Ghostbuster."

Man how I miss the 90's.

 

2. Link

I couldn't in my right mind compile a list of retro costumes without including some video game characters.

Here we have a '89 Link vinyl mask from the "Legend of Zelda" series. It's too bad that the kids who begged their parents to buy this for them, wishing to become the brave game adventurer, were later tormented by elderly women insisting they were dressed as Irish leprechauns.

Sing-A-Long, Link!

"When Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure 'tis like the morn in Spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy,
All the world seems bright and gay.
And when Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, they steal your heart away."

Let's all do the Chieftains next!

 

1. Mario

It seems logical to end with the big man himself, Mr. Mario Mario. If it wasn't for the hat, I could have swore the mask was in the likeness of an albino chimpanzee with an upside down caterpillar on his face.

In Ben Cooper's continuted dedication to realism, a punch out hole was cut through from inside the mouth. Why would they ruin the look of the vinyl mask even more? It could only be one thing.

Easy straw insertion access!

There always looking out for the kids' best interest except when it comes to making quality Halloween masks.

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That's it. Show's over. I hope this article helped to give you a few ideas on how to dress retro this Halloween year. Remember the basic ingredients and you'll be fine: (1) white trash bags, (2) plastic proton pack toys, and (3) holes in masks large enough for Hi-C Tangerine [Ecto Cooler] drink straws.

Or, you could just do what I'm doing, and buy that damn cool Ninja Turtle mask.

NintendoPlayer.com