ARE WE READY
FOR NES HARDBALL??
Yes, now get
on with it! I never got my danish!
Hello again NES fans and freaks! Welcome to
episode TWO of Hardball!
Tonight's panel is RandX from NES el33t and Lanny Cox from Crystalis Awareness Foundation.
Cheers!
*holds up sign*
visit the Crystalis shrine on NES El33t.
As I did with my first guest, I'd like to
take this time to ask our guests a little about
their sites.
Let's start with Rand.
*holds up sign*
el33t shrine sucks, visit the TRUE Crystalis
site.
Please--please GENTLEMEN!
*holds up sign*
I will hax0r j00 site Lanny.
K.....k.... i'm
simmered.
Sorry...
Thank you, Rand tell us a little about e133t
please.
Well, NES El33t
technically belongs to King Sushi. I have just
been a staffer for a little over a year now.
Our focus seems to be to provide NES fans with
a combination of information and humor.
When I joined,
I basically added everything that I had from
NWW, this included Shyguy Club(w00t!), Secrets,
The N-Files, and what editorials I had.
And you are apart of one of the few sites
still out there doing the combination perfectly
in unison.
Well thank you
Groxx, we try our best.
And I understand you were one of the staffers
in NWW, before it shut down.
Well actually,
it sorta got hax0red.
Several times
by different people.....
A-hahaha!!
Speaking of NWW,
cracked8ball, former owner of NWW, recently
joined NES El33t. So I guess it's safe to say
that NES El33t and NWW have merged.
Well, at least things have worked out in the
long run.
Lanny runs the Crystalis Awareness Foundation
website, tell us about it Lanny.
Well.....I've
updated it twice, and I have FAQs and banners
encouraging people to support the game.
Unfortunately,
I have had no luck with the "crystalis
army", our fan club, actually the only
member is Rand.
It's an upstart
site, I'll get it going eventually....
Well, you can bet I'll be signing up as soon
as I'm done here!
(Yeah right. :D)
CRYSTALIS OWNS
J00!!!
CRYSTALIS AWARENESS
FOUNDATION OWNZ J00!!
I think we all need to encourage more sites
to carry the scene forward.
*nods*
Ya, I mean seriously,
if it comes down to like, |TSR, NESWorld, and
El33t, the scene is good as dead, I mean.....
Sites like the
Crystalis Awareness Foundation are the future,
with great owners I might add.
I agree fully, speaking of which:
One more question before we get right into
things: to continue the tradition I would like
to hear both of your opinions on the quality
of the nes scene. I hope that these ideas will
help future webmasters.
I still think
there are plenty of good sites out there with
plenty of people enthusiastic about the NES.
However, I think many sites focus on the "scene"
too much, which would push away new members
because they won't understand the content.
I guess the quality
depends on which site or message board you visit,
there are still plenty of good message boards
to talk about the NES.
I agree with you there. Where's the ACTUAL
NES content and info?
My opinion is
different from Rand's, in that I think the "scene"
matters. People are too obsessed with little
squabbles, we need to form tighter bonds, and
strong trading links.
*nods*
And also, I feel
that we need to root out the idiots who pick
fights, and troll. The "scene" can
become a very strong community, if given time
to prosper.
Easier said than done.
How do you suggest we go about this?
I think the community
in itself needs to be based around a central
hub, perhaps a message board, or chat room.
Clear leaders need to be established, and a
hierarchical system of, shall we say, NESsiness.
People should have their own responsibilities
for different parts of the scene, such as humor,
game info, cheats, comics, etc.
If all the people
in the scene could contribute to one big site,
it would be amazing.
Wow. Your ideas intrege me and I would like
to subscribe to your newsletter--but seriously,
that would be near impossible to do.
Not really, the
whole scene needs to band together, to support
the NES, which was the clear goal in the first
place.
I understand what you mean about assigning
different jobs, a.k.a. staffers, and strictly
NES humor sites should join with strictly NES
info sites (if desired).
Yes, definitely.
I mean seriously, don't you fall asleep reading
TSR's site? Does it not make you woozy?
Hey, his TV ads
rule.
I feel asleep
everytime I try and search through it.
How many sites
have stuff like that?
Certainly not
NES Elthreethreet, I withdraw my comment.
...
Hee-hee. Intelligent comments from both sides,
but I think that's enough talk on the scene.
Let's go to our main debate of today.
It's the topic we love to talk about... sexy
women of the NES!
W00t!
I'm shy around
women, especially sexy women... *blushes*
Thats good, women LOVE sensitivity shit!
Er.. I mean, let's start with Lanny this time
and his picks.
What is your first choice of the NES' sexiest
chick?
Dark Queen.....
TAKE ME BACK BABY, TAKE ME BACK!! I SWEAR, I
NEED BLACK LEATHER LOVE!!
Ah yes, EXCELLENT choice of a domineering
type, eh?
Sick.. really.
And to Rand--what is your #1 pick?
Ummm well.....*pause*
I think.............Princess
Zelda is kinda cute *blush*
WOOF WOOF WOOF!
I would ask her out, but I'm too shy...
Hmm..... I got connections, me and link used to go
out to this bar, with like, chicks, and then
we were like hey babes, and they all giggle,
and whoa dude! and....
Then I had "the incident".
*sigh* Princess Zelda..
Hmm, nice, but let's
take a look at the marvel of NES
Player's technology with this "advanced"
print-out picture:
*blood shoots out of his nose*
M-m-m-y g-g-goodness, I don't remember her like this.....
Enhancements in all
the right places. I am.. satisfied.
*nearly falls off his stool*
I am hard.
I'll never get a chance to go out with her *sigh*
Whoooooa.....
Ahh Error, I almost
forgot about our panel's picks!
Let's see Error's number
one choice:
I AM HARD.
Yes..well...yes.
Moving along to Art.
Hmmm....
Error is idiot.
Agreed.
Hey, if you were programmed by lazy Japanese
translators you'd sound like a retard, too!
Greetings Groxx.
Oh, sorry Art, to your pick:
Eh. What do you guys
think?
Hmm...... never done it in a graveyard.
Ewww, they look like they are about to...... My mommy
taught me looking at this is bad......
Yes, graveyards can
be major turn offs.
My mommy would never let me run around in my underwear,
especially in front of a girl, because it's
not the proper way to treat a lady.
Well Rand, we all have
our ways to getting our groove on.
Ya...... you gotta serve her dinner first! Or have
her kidnapped, and kill the kidnapper and untie
her just before the dynamite explodes, but then
it does, and.... the incident occurs.
Well, some of us have this thing called "decency".....
not to mention shyness.
Ya..... shy people
always get chicks in the end though. Cheer up!
We do?
Yay!
Ya, of course!
You end up with
the nerdy lookin girl who looks nerdy, but then
she loses her shyenss and is beautiful!
Mmmmm enhanced Zelda..ahhh..
I h-hope I end
up with Zelda. *blush*
You will, you
will!
Jenny...JEN-NY!!!!!
Hello, Grim.
Hello...Groxx.
Hello Grim!
Let's take a peek at Grim's pick:
Sweet, sweet Jenny. *sigh*
You sicko Grim, she's just a little girl. How could
you?
Most people don't know my true self..before I go to
bed everynight I cry.
Really?
HAW HA!
I-I..grim reapers
have HEARTS, too, you know.
Haha, you cry!
Hey! Quit being
mean guys, there is nothing wrong with having
an emotional side.
When I feel like
I'm about to cry, I think of butterflies and
I feel all better.
You should try
that Grim.
WE WANT GUY!
WE WANT GUY!
I have these
binoculars..and I watch Jenny by her window.
10:00 AM: Wakey wakey baby. Goes to her mirror,
combs her hair with a Sailor Moon brush. 12:00
PM Exercises..
.....
STOP THIS!
I hate to do this again but..
4:00 PM: Sneaks
a candy bar to her room and eats it before dinner.
Bad girl, BAD!
*Groxx pushes Pause
button on Grim Reaper*
I'm sorry about that
guys.
*shakes head*
Oh, we almost forgot about Guy! He's so quiet
sitting overthere. Let's check out his pick:
GUY, GUY, GUY,
GUY!
...
Eeewww, how repulsive... I can't look.
Oh my.....
That's um.... um.... I think he must've took a header
or something earlier today.
I think Guy has had one too many head injuries.
Ba-ba-ba-bi-bi-big hooch-hoochie, tons o' fu-fu-fun!
I AM HARD.
Yeah.....
Error am idiot,
so is Guy.
Unpause Grim,
he's cool!
Bah!
Ugh. Okay, that's enough from our panel. Let's
go to Lanny's last pick.
I hope my mommy
doesn't find out I saw these dirty pics, I'll
be in trouble if she does.
Yes....... my
last pick is April, from Ninja Turtles, or as
I like to call her "Hey do you know Roxy
from River City Ransom?".
Despite being totally average, she has serviced my
every need, and hooks me up with other trashbag
hos.
Poor girl, she all tied up.
Oh... she's tied up..... flashbacks....
Yes, but the fear of
turtle diseases are very real, especially in
these days and ages.
*thinks: holy shit!*
*her boobs look friggin huge in that pic, looks like
the rope is making them bulge out!*
Very good. Now to Rand's
final:
Wow.... 80's hair..... cool!
Okay, I met this
cute cheerleader once. She went out with me
after I beat up some preppy snotnosed frat guy.
We shyguys not like frat guys.
I think I'm interested in her myself... have
to get her number!
Tee hee! We have fun together, she's so nice
to me!
Man, I wanna bang that.....
Now Lanny! Treat her like a lady.
I AM HARD.
.....
True dat!
You know, I am
really starting to dislike Error.
Can I get on
my autobomb and shoot him?
You know I would let you--but unfortuantely
we need him for a few more episodes.
Darn....
Yeah, stupid contracts. Union thing, ya know?
**Lanny takes out cellphone, calls cheerleader**
*hops
on his autobomb, and fries Lanny's cell phone*
NOOO!!!
Leave my woman alone!
Ouch.
Oh yeah?
ZELDA NEVER DID LIKE YOU, AND IIIII HAD HER!!!
SHI-ZAM!
D: *sniff*
Haven't we all had her?
Think of butterflies...think of butterflies.....
Mwhaha!
Except me.
She's a show-and-tell
thing, pass it on.
You all lie, you all mean. *sniff*
Well, I see time is
running low.
We have room for one
more picture.
And--disturbing--is
the best word to describe it.
....
It's not actually a
NES woman...but sick nonetheless...
This is no breaking
news to me! Your thoughts?
Disgusting...
........
And i thought Ring King was bad....
I AM HARD.
I AM HARD.
I AM HARD.
I AM HARD.
Please Error!
I AM HARRRRD.
...
I am soft.
I am sick.
Well I think that this
NES Hardball is well over..
I am over.
Closing thoughts from
our guests?
VISIT MY SITE!! I HEART BOOBIES!
DON'T FORGET TO VISIT NES
EL33T!!!
JOIN SHYGUY CLUB!!!
Which I am evil dictato...
err president of.
AND JOIN THE CRYSTALIS
ARMY!
And Zelda..... call me
babe!! Mu-hu-hahaha!
I still have my cute cheerleader,
we are bestest friends.
Ok, then, see you next
time here on Hardball!
