Crowd: *cheers*

Mega Man: Hello, hello everyone!

Crowd: *clapping* MARRY ME, MEGA!

Mega Man: Thank you for tuning into The Tonite Show on location at the beautiful Amityville harbor! Because of legal reasons, get this - the show's main set is now considered a "crime scene", and so we had to take the show on the road. Oh, and R.O.B. is getting all the help he needs for his drastic, crazy-like symptoms. We're all routing for you, friend. Let's hear it for R.O.B.!

Crowd: *cheering and clapping* Whoo-hoo!

Mega Man: So to fill his shoes, our producer - also webmaster of NES Player - chose me. Thanks man. Now on to our show. We've all heard about the many reported incidents of shark attacks this summer in Florida beaches. Well, we have with us today a long time aficionado on the subject, Diver. He might even show us a surprise of his own later. But first it's time for a segment we call: "SCREENSHOT!"

Crowd: *cheering*

Mega Man: Man, somebody pinch me. I thought we were at Amityville, not New Jersey!

Crowd: *Boo* You suck...My mom's from Jersey, dude! *Boo*

Mega Man (to himself): DAMN YOU GROXX! I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE FOR MAKING ME HAVE TO TELL ANOTHER JERSEY JOKE!

Groxx (watching TV): HAHAHA!! New Jersey! Ah...that's classic. Where's my Coke?

Mega Man: I'm sorry about that folks. And to make it up to ya, let's bring out our special guest now. Ladies and gentlemen: Mister Diver!

Crowd: *cheering*

Diver: *walks in* Whoa, blue dude what up%&? Shoot, shoot, shoot..

Mega Man: Welcome to the show, Diver. I must say, nice spandex, although I prefer a bluish hue.

Diver: Shoot, shoot, shoot..

Mega Man: So, I hear that you brought us a little souvenir from your latest ocean expedition. Let's bring it out!

Crowd: *clapping*

Mega Man: WOW! That's a nice fish! Thanks Ernest, for helping us out with it.

Ernest: Aye it's no problem. It is a nice speciman, but I've seen bigger ones.. one in particular, actually.

Diver: I shoot this one REAL good. Shoot, shoot, shoot..

Mega Man: I hear ya bro, shooting is my life, too. To digress a little, I'm kind of interested, Ernest, can you tell us a little more about this big shark you mentioned?

Ernest: Aye, it'd be my pleasure, lad. 'Twas back a few years when I was out 60 miles doing some off coast fishing. I remember being in the stern, tying a bow-line, when I heard my reel start spinning as loud as an old Irish banshee. I flew to my line and started the fight of my life. After tying the rod onto me, I gripped onto dear life as I began to try to tire the mighty beast. It was war between man against fish, and I was determined to be the victor! After nearly 3 hours of trying, my arms nearly completely numb, he finally surfaced. Was at least 2 times the size of my Grady White, I say. His teeth were full of blood, oozing out, and had the eyes of a devil. Only about 24 inches separated me with Satan, himself. And then..

Diver: Shoot, shoot, shoot...

Mega Man: Mister Diver, please allow Ernest to finish his story. Please go on.

Ernest: Well that was the story.

Mega Man: Well, how did you bring the shark onboard and lug it back to land?

Ernest: I didn't. A few moments after I saw him, the line broke and he swam beneath the water again. But--

Mega Man: But what? Did you see him ever again?

Ernest: It was only a few months ago, on a cool summer night.

*MUSIC* Da dum *MUSIC*

Ernest: I threw out a line at this exact dock, and..

*MUSIC* Da dum-Da dum *MUSIC*

Ernest: ..almost as soon as I put my lure in, something swimming by snagged it.

*MUSIC* Da dum-Da dum-Da dum*MUSIC*

Mega Man: Where the hell is that music from?

Ernest: My rig was set for blue fish, but I knew this wasn't a blue. My fishing rod..

*MUSIC* Da dum-Da dum-Da dum-Da dum*MUSIC*

Ernest: ...was bent all the down to my feet. It was shallow so I could see a dorsal fin...

Mega Man: Where is this dramatic music coming from??? It's making me nervous.

Ernest: I could actually see the hook tearing at its gigantic jaws.

*MUSIC* Da dum-Da dum-Da dum-Da dum Da-Dum Da-Dum*MUSIC*

Ernest: And from then on, I said to myself, he would be known as Jaws!

Camera Man Steve: Oh shit.

Background Screams: OH MY GOD!!! MY ARM. THE BASTARD'S GOT MY ARM. WHERE'S MY LEG?? Shoot, Shoot, Shoot...GAAH-AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!