MEGA MAN 2 (F.X. Nine)
SUMMARY BY: Mike for NES Player

The novel starts out with Mega Man arriving at Dr. Light's lab. Mega Man was summoned by Light from his "comfortable home" to do battle again with Dr. Wily (misspelled as "Dr. Wiley" on pg. 1) and eight new evil robots. We learn a little about how Mega Man came about. He was created to serve as a "tool-using robot" but later programmed with his signature weapons to battle Dr. Wily. Apparently Mega Man is subservient to Dr. Light because a robot must obey his master, and so he follows Light's request to step inside a cloning machine for Light to create a second Mega Man to fight alongside him.

The machine door swings open and Mega Man has a bruise atop his head, which Dr. Light finds odd considering robots do not bruise. After an examination, they discover Mega Man has become human by mistake. He is no longer invincible to attacks. Mega Man is a bit fearful at this point, but eager, too, to get started kicking evil robot ass. He decides to start with Metal Man first.

Mega Man is now inside of Metal Man's world and everything is loud and machine-operated. He runs past some traps and a conveyor belt, then comes across a gate with the letter "W" on it. He blasts it with his Mega Gun to open it. "Eat steel, 'Mini' Man," sneered Metal Man. Pow! Blam! and other sort of cheesy effects are portrayed as Mega Man attacks the "awesome metal-plated body of the evil robot." Mega Man wins, of course, and collects the Metal Blade item.

Dr. Light congratulates Mega Man on the victory and sends him off next to Flash Man. The place is gloomy and silent until Mr. Big stomps into the picture. With a little strategy, Mega Man takes him out and goes up an elevator. As quickly as the battle begins, Mega Man destroys Flash Man and gains the Time Stopper.

Next up is Bubble Man's aqua world. Mega Man encounters Croakers and whips out the Metal Blade to take care of them all. He then slips into the water. Luckily, his helmet kept the water out (not sure about the oxygen, though). Mega Man whips some Crabbot butt and gets to Bubble Man himself. "Mega Blorble man! How gurgle dare you enter my king-burrble-dom!" Bubble Man hits Mega Man with his Bubble Lead and Mega Man goes down. Dr. Light is worried, but Mega Man takes a pellet of energy and knocks the bubbles out of Bubble Man. He is victorious.

Air Man follows, and Mega Man finds himself high above on a cloud. He jumps onto a Cloud Climber, then encounters a Roto-Chimp, knocks it off the flying Thunder Chariot platform, and continues onward. After dealing with some more baddies, Mega Man enters Air Man's chambers. Mega Man apparently gets scared of Air Man's mouth, but kicks his tornado-farting ass anyhow. Fwooosh! Mega Man helps himself to the Air Shooter and Jet-Ski.

Mega Man gets in touch with Dr. Light and the good Doctor plays him a clip of Dr. Wily addressing him on a news broadcast. He proclaims he has plans for the universe, and calls Mega Man a pipsqueak. He done did it! Mega Man fires back, calling Dr. Wily a "bully." Ouch, man, watch the language.

Crash Man is next to cross out on Mega Man's to-do list. This is getting a tad bit formulaic, so let's cut to the chase: Crash Man throws bombs, Mega Man avoids bombs, Mega Man prevails. Mega Man pries the Crash Bomber out of Crash Man's cold, dead hands.

After Crash Man, Mega Man ventures to Heat Man's world. It's hot as a furnace! Mega Man could use a cool dip, but Prop Tops prefer he'd have a hot one into the lava. Quickly Mega Man pushes three buttons on the backpack Dr. Light designed for him and pulls out the Jet-Ski. "Surf's up!" He takes out a brick wall with the Crash Bomber and enters the headquarters of Heat Man. Heat Man throws a series of fireballs at Mega Man, singing his brows. Mega Man responds by turning him to ash. Give me Wood Man!

Drums echo the jungle inside of Wood Man's world. A Robo-Rabbit hops out of nowhere and gives a Bugs Bunny impression right before Mega Man wipes him clean. Mega Man behaves like Tarzan and arrives at the infamous Wood Man after dodging the Atomic Chickens. "Wanna splinter, Mega Man?" No, Mega Man says, he'd rather use him as a "lovely footstool." And so he does.

"Destroying Wood Man was as easy as falling over a log," exclaims a confident Mega Man. (Need to finish this summary as Quick as Quick Man... for sanity's sake.) Quick Man is the last to go. Mega Man takes care of a Jack-in-the-Box and Hot Heads to meet up with Quick Man. After a couple of trials, Mega Man finds out Quick Man is suspectible to the Crash Bomb. The Quick Boomerang was his. To the evil castle!

Dr. Light reveals that Dr. Wily paid him a visit on his UFO speaking through a bullhorn for Light to pull Mega Man from his job. No such luck! Mega Man navigates his way through the evil castle until he mistakes a dragon for a train. Mega Man quickly lets him have it with his Quick Boomerangs.

Mega Man cannot reach Dr. Light. He falls into a booby trap to the basement of the castle. He pulls out the Jet-Ski to fly past the spikes and enemies through the tunnel. He finds himself trapped, until bricks began to fall. Mega Man whips out an energy pellet and Metal Blade, yells "Jailbreak!", then goes through a trapdoor in the ceiling.

Mega Man was now at Dr. Wily's moat. He swam until a huge fish began following him, then Mega Man turned around and shot with his Bubble Lead leaving it sleeping with the fishes. The Guts-Dozer is Mega Man's latest test, and he quickly finds out that none of his weapons are effective, except for the Crash Bomber. Boom!

Mega Man climbs upward until Dr. Wily connects with him, calling Mega Man a "pest." Mega Man, being the wise ass he is, gawks, then bombs all the doorways, leaving only one left. He enters to find himself inside of room with nine doors. Dr. Wily's Teleport System! Mega Man will have to fight all eight robots again!

The author, probably shitting himself thinking he'd have to re-write all of the exciting battles again, instead describes each boss battle in one sentence per robot.

"I let the air out of him!"

He canceled Crash Man.

He blew up Bubble Man.

He mowed down Metal Man.

He flattened Flash Man.

He wiped out Wood Man.

He made Quick Man quit.

And finally, he harpooned Heat Man.

Mega Man is finally left in the pitch black. Dr. Wily's spaceship tries to retreat, but Mega Man follows suit. Mega Man uses the Time Stopper to freeze the falling acid to make his way to the final battle.

Mega Man comes face to face with a green alien. He blasts it with the Bubble Lead, and discovers it was only a mirage. Dr. Wily is left sobbing on the ground defeated.

"Mega Man, I thank you. My family thanks you. The universe thanks you. You are the greatest superhero of them all!"